A little-known fact about funeral service…
I keep getting e-mails from family members and friends who ask, “Why aren’t you writing more about the funeral service program?”
To which I always reply, “You want to hear about that? Sicko.” before I giggle maniacally and pour myself another whiskey while waiting for rotten dot com to load.
Alright, I kid about the whiskey. I’m still on the TB meds and I can’t even take a freaking aspirin much less nourish my inner alcoholic without the threat of toxemia hanging over my head.
Oh, and since we’re digressing, did anyone see this headline this morning?
Cuba hopes private farms will ease food shortages
…and if you happened to see it did you smack yourself in the forehead and make little strangling motions with your hands while pretending Castro’s neck was between your fingers? And maybe laugh weakly at the irony of it all? Was that just me?
Alright, well anyway here’s a little something I learned in class last week:
So we were reviewing liability issues in my Mortuary Law & Ethics class when the issue of retorts (the furnaces used to cremate bodies) came up. In a rare exception to the Americans with Disabilities Act, it is considered lawful to charge more to cremate the remains of an obese individual than a person of “average” dimensions. Here’s why:
When an obese person is cremated, the adipose (fat) tissue - solely by virtue of its volume - causes a spike in temperature that the retort is not designed to handle. Basically, you have a huge grease fire. What has happened in past cremations of obese people is that they have been inserted into the retort, the burners are engaged, and within minutes a river of flame comes dripping out of the retort, down the wall, and onto the floor because the adipose tissue is ignited so quickly that it is liquefied while it is still burning. Many crematory operators have lost their businesses when their buildings have gone up in flames during such a cremation.
You’re welcome.
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