#1 – This morning, printed on a side of a cereal box:

What are GDA’s?

My answer, made for my own benefit (and possibly my dog’s, if he counts, which really? He probably doesn’t since dogs have neither the ability to roll their eyes or tell their owners that they’re acting very scary? So please stop cracking yourself up?):

“G-Damn aardvarks!”

#2 – Upon setting my coffee on a desk filled with bills, cancelled checks, years worth of tax returns and basically every document that we would need to prove our laughable net worth:

“Awesome! Let’s spill some coffee ’round here! Woo hoo!”

#3 – To my dog, whose inability to register concern for my deteriorating mental health I’ve taken as permission to talk – alone – as much as I wish, resulting in my reading passages from Alan Greenspan’s book The Age of Turbulence. I don’t think he understood very much of it which, I suppose, puts him in league with about 98% of the American public.

…and now I shall turn off the computer and ponder what comes first: loneliness or depression?