June 15th, 2008

Father’s Day!

Ok, so yeah the blogosphere will be rife with Father’s Day posts and still I feel the need to throw in my own two cents.

So happy Father’s Day to my husband, who has spent the last eight years being a dad to this one:

Charlie

Before I go on I’d like to have a word about step-parents. I met my now-husband when I was a rather baffled single mom with a four month old baby and an ex with little interest in parenting (he had taken off with another woman when I was pregnant and only returned a week prior to my son’s birth to interrupt an adoption I had set up).

My now-husband did not shy away from me. He did  not shy away from my baby boy. He did not shy away from a tiny screaming, diaper-wearing human that he had no biological or moral obligation to support.

Rather, he jumped right in with both feet and has been a fierce parent and provider to our son ever since. He’s earned the right to refer to the boy as “his son” a million times over. His first act while we were dating was to baby-proof his apartment. His second was to start an education IRA for the boy. We were married when my son was eighteen months old and he has been a loving parent to him ever since.

My husband is the reason why - if you happen to know me - I get a little irritated when people refer to biological parents as their “real” parents. I think it’s backward to give credit to people based only on their biological contribution to your existence. Your “real” parent is the man or woman who changed your diapers, fed you at midnight, kissed owies, taught you to ride a bike and spanked your sorry ass when you used a rusty nail to carve a family portrait into the side of the station wagon. Many of us are fortunate to have biological parents who double as our “real” parents. Still, there are numerous children out there who, through a fabulous stroke of luck, are being raised by wonderfully caring parents who had no biological obligation to take on the burdens presented by parenthood.

In my mind, my son hit the parenthood lottery with my husband. Happy Father’s Day to my husband and all you dads out  there who are raising step and adopted children. You are the “real” dad.

My daughter, on the other hand, is the perpetrator of a grand experiment in which she is trying to see just how far she can push my husband and I without actually being sold to gypsies:

Sophia

Also! Happy Father’s Day to my own father, who is spending this one at Club Afghanistan at Uncle Sam’s bequest:

Dad w. Pope John Paul II

This is my dad’s favorite photo. Ever.

It was taken by a vatican photographer in 1988 after my dad’s unit flew the pope and his mitre-wearing entourage from Colorado to Carmel, California during a papal visit to the states. Upon arrival in California the pope asked to meet with every person involved in his travel so that he could thank them individually. To this day my dad still brags that Pope John Paul II requested an audience with him.

Happy Father’s Day dad. Try not to eat too many MREs will ya? We’re having a budget crisis over here.

(And yeah. I hit the parent lottery by having you as a dad too.)


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16 comments so far

Wow. I so appreciate this post.

Thanks, Steph.

Lori
June 15th, 2008 at 10:58 am

Me too, Steph. I hate the ’step’ in stepparent, but I feel like a fraud when I leave it out.

ByJane
June 15th, 2008 at 2:24 pm

So maybe we can “choose” our family in a way.

I would totally show off a pic of me and the Pope to anybody and everybody. Hell, I’d carry that thing around with me and show it to strangers in the grocery store!

Jay
June 15th, 2008 at 5:16 pm

Serious or comedic, you’re good.

Buffalo
June 15th, 2008 at 7:08 pm

that was nice. :)

mathjedi
June 16th, 2008 at 1:09 am

Great photos! You are so right about the what makes a real parent. Hope your father’s day was wonderful.

FFG
June 16th, 2008 at 6:32 am

I’ve only met your daughter a couple of times but I’m betting she gets away with murder in your house.

Travis
June 16th, 2008 at 10:48 am

Very touching tribute to your husband.

Karen
June 16th, 2008 at 5:26 pm

This is the bestest F.D. post I’ve read this year.
kudos!!

Jean
June 16th, 2008 at 9:19 pm

Bloody awesome post! It is not fathers day here until September, but I am enjoying the posts from abroad. Your little man and little lady are just gorgeous, and I love the image of your dad, how wonderful! Look, my Aunt was adopted out by my grandparents when they were both 14. My Aunt found our family when I was 16 yrs old. Up until then, no one knew that my grandparents had a daughter. Even now, she refers to her adoptive parents as Mum and Dad, and my Grandparents, who luckily for her were married and stayed together for 60plus years until my nan died last year, as her other parents. Thing is, she loves everyone, just like me :)

Cazzie!!!
June 17th, 2008 at 3:08 am

lovely, sugar, absolutely lovely! xoxox

savannah
June 17th, 2008 at 9:21 am

Happy father’s day to all of you! This was a beautiful post. I didn’t even try this year as my dad doesn’t really know what a blog is and my post for him last year was so lame. Im sure you made both your dad and your husband very proud!

crse
June 17th, 2008 at 8:53 pm

Very nice, DC.

Let’s hear it for the adoptive fathers too!!!!

Mine was too damned busy at the casino to answer the GD phone…

Mark
June 17th, 2008 at 11:02 pm

My step-mother has been in my life since I was 8, and to deny that she had any part of my upbringing would be a complete lie! What a beautiful post, and thank goodness for that wonderful man of yours!

patternandpurpose
June 19th, 2008 at 6:26 am

I let my youngest son read the center section of the post.
We had a “Helen Keller” moment, as to how things could be.
thank you.

oh, and happy, happy belated fathers day to KofD.

Mr. Bud
June 20th, 2008 at 11:58 am

ps. cameras are fun, no?
go look at your old pics, you are sooo getting better.
:)

Mr. Bud
June 20th, 2008 at 12:01 pm



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