So as I mentioned last Monday, the whole f-list thing has gone over pretty well. Apparently there’s a lot of folks out there whose patience with the world has been as overworked as my own. Not a few of which have submitted lists that indicate they are secretly plotting against the North American Beaver and/or members of the Peace & Freedom party.
…also, residents of southeastern Washington, Idaho and Oregon really should consider stockpiling Cipro. Not that I would know anything. I’m just a nebulous blogger from Northern California who most definitely never receives e-mails from eco-terrorists who post on Peregrine Falcon chat groups or culture deadly strains of bird flu in the ad hoc lab they’ve created in their their parents’ basement in Pullman, Washington.
Just sayin’.
At any rate, I’m surprised. Like, really, really surprised. How many f-lists have been submitted? Too many to post here. How many times did I, personally, make the f-lists? 90% of the time. To that end, I don’t think I’m stopping at stockpiling Cipro. I think I’m going to also collect a small-arms arsenal and booby-trap my home.
But the f-list has its detractors, not a few of which have e-mailed me to express their disappointment that I would electronically piss in their Cheerios. So for those who seem to have misunderstood the concept, I offer you an olive branch in the form of a definition:
F-List, defined: The f-list isn’t about hating people or animals or inanimate objects that offend the senses by being coated in pink “fun fur”. The f-list is simply an expression of an individual’s frustration with receiving a daily hammering by overzealous activists, the media, and various and sundry jackasses.
For instance, perhaps you’re a normally kind and compassionate person who loves animals but has had it up to your eyeballs with these insane morons from PETA who make specious arguments equating the life of a dog to that of a human. You have two choices: you can fabricate a pipe bomb in your garage and head over to your nearest PETA headquarters or you can compose an f-list and put “Rabid animals rights assholes” on it. The upside is that you don’t end up in prison for off’ing someone who really deserves it. The downside, of course, is that you don’t off someone who really deserves it.
See? The f-list keeps people out of prison.
Also, I have to say that I’m more than just a tad surprised that the whole f-list thing has gone the way of the dreaded meme (somebody get Grundir on the horn STAT!) But since I’ve never been one to turn down an opportunity to whore my site to anyone nor have I been the type of person to deny that modern life has its share of aggravation, I invite everyone who wishes to do so to post their own f-lists, link back to this blog and post this badge:
Here are a couple of folks who have already posted f-lists and linked back to my blog along with a few who have now received the dreaded “tag” and must post f-lists of their own (insert evil laugh here):
LL – Who has since removed the post. Damn her!!! (pumps fist in air)